the scientist.

Lost.
Hurting.

Being lied to isn't that bad.
Being betrayed... I can deal with that.
Living the rest of my life, never knowing what's real, what is true, what is honest.
I don't think I can cope.
I didn't do anything for myself today.
I don't plan to.
So far, looking after myself, has included:
Animosity,
bitterness,
fear,
anxiety.
I don't sleep.
I cry.
Confusion.
Unsettled sense of self.
I need to go somewhere.
The people who are supposed to be here for me, in this moment, are gone.
They've all walked away.
where are you.
I need you.
It shouldn't be this bad. It can all be solved.
I can't do it alone.
No body said it was easy.
In 3 days,
i've gone from being on top of the world, nothing can shake me.
to:
Lost.Hurting.Alone.
Everything I had, is trying to be taken away from me, and I can try my absolute hardest, to not let it all fall apart.
Hold it together.
It's SO worth it, 
but I can't do it alone.
2 of my best friends have failed me,
I'm down to 1 more ...And i will fight with everything I have for it.
you know who you are.
and I'm still in, if you are.
But we have to fight together..
because I don't have much to give anymore.
I will not walk away.

love and honesty,
cass