dershnamurrr

It is. Effing.  Freezing outside.
I do not know how many of my California friends read my blog.. But from the bottom of my heart, I send a sincere EFF YOU.

I figured since I'm locked inside, in fear of death, it gives me a good excuse to blog.

I haven't really decided what I want to write about today.

So if it's all over the place, then you can understand that I definitely did not approach this as a serious university paper.
Thesis.
Bullshit.


A few of my best girlfriends (or best "bitches" I like to call them)
are also in transition stages in their lives.

Collectively we have decided that we are all stamped on the forehead: "I will do everything in the relationship for a really long time, and then will resent you for being a lazy POS as time goes on"
Something like that.

I've been thinking a lot about why most girls feel like they put in all of the effort in relationships, and the "men" ... well... Enjoy their sports and couches.

I think I might be able to shed some light.
I am no therapist.
I need therapy.. LOL

But here is my take on it:

Most girls, especially those who are raised in religious homes, have been taught that it is the mans job, to pursue her.
I will admit, in my teen years, I envisioned some muscle man, with lots of money, throwing flowers and chocolate at me, saying "LOVE ME".

As far as I can tell, society has painted us women into a corner.
We better know our way around the kitchen. We better eat pizza with you anytime you want to.
We should know how to play video games. We should also have big boobs and a 6 pack.
BUT, if we're lucky enough to have a 6 pack and big boobs, we MUST be ok with giving up our bodies to bear your children.

So what does this cause?
Fear.
We get scared that unless we meet all of these standards, or even the standards of the people we are attracted to, they will not LOVE us.

I can do a lot of things.
I am really good at relationships.

But referring to my previous blog, 
I have always changed small things about myself, in fear of not being loved. Or not being accepted.

Ladies.
It feels SO good to have approval.
to be the "cool" girlfriend.
The one that doesn't give a shit about boys nights, or how much pot you smoke, or how much you drink.
The one that wins the "boys" over with our incredible wit and chill factor.

But the problem with that, is that over time, we start to resent the fact that these boys don't try and woo us.
You know why?
Because we take on the work load at the very beginning.
(Please note, I am not talking about ALL women. Mostly just the ones I have been conversing with in the past few weeks)

So.
Excuse me if I'm taking some selfish time for myself.
To take 2 hrs to do my hair and makeup, when I want to go out with the girls. (it generally only takes that long because of the needs of 3 girls.. who are either wanting something to drink, or try the makeup.. etc etc.)

I'm not about to start driving around doing favors, not about to wear a pair of jeans a size too small, to show off my fabulous glutes.
I'm not about to spend money I don't have to show that "I can take care of myself"
C'mon now.
I've said it once, I'll say it again.
If YOU want to be a part of MY life.
you gotta do something about it.

I'm taking the stand.
I'm backing off for a bit.
I'm learning to say no.
I'm learning to not eat so much ice cream.
I'm learning the difference between love and infatuation.

I may seem robotic, 
but at this point in my life, I have to be.
"Fake it til you make it"

I am strong, but can be stronger.

I am weak, but will not become weaker.

I am smart, and aspire to be smarter.

I make mistakes, and I'm starting to learn from them.


This is not to be a "man bashing blog"
Gentlemen readers:
Do you have a fancy for some girl? Are you in a relationship, and things are starting to get a little bit boring? Put down the video games. Get OFF the couch. Put DOWN your phone.
Now go give that fine lady a smooch and make her a damn sandwich.
Or buy her flowers or chocolate or something else.
Get a sitter, even if it's just to relax and watch a movie.
Do the dishes.
DO SOMETHING.
you will be surprised at how far the smallest efforts, can change SO MANY THINGS for a woman.

"When a girl falls head over heels for a man.. like truly deeply, the only person in the ENTIRE WORLD who can screw that up, is HIM."
Don't do it.

Love and Honesty
Cass